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Article about what are the bases in dating:
Here’s why we should stop describing sex in terms of bases. Everything You Need to Know About Sexual Bases. Why We Describe Sex in Terms of Bases (And Why We Should Put an End to It) Even if you’,ve never played a single minute of baseball in your life, there’,s a decent chance you’,ve used its terminology before.
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Phrases like “,you’,re in the big leagues now,”, “,that came out of left field”, and “,you knocked it out of the park”, have made their way into American lingo via the sport. While baseball terms often find themselves being used in our work lives, perhaps no baseball terminology has been more impactful than the notion of bases as metaphors for sexual intimacy. “,Have you been to first base yet?“, “,I finally got to second base with her last night.“, “,I think I’,m going to get to third base any day now.“, “,Last week, I finally hit a homerun!“, But inserting a sports-related element when it comes to sex might imbue it with a little playfulness for some, if you dig a little deeper, it’,s actually a deeply inaccurate (and potentially harmful) way of thinking about sex. In order to understand the relationship between sex and bases, and why we should probably stop using the bases model, AskMen spoke with three experts in sex, dating and relationships …, and none about baseball. Here’,s what they had to say: What First, Second, Third and Home Base Mean in Relation to Sex. So what do the bases represent, exactly? As it turns out, in part because the bases system seems to have become a metaphor for sex in a somewhat impromptu way, it can vary significantly from person to person. However, at least two of the bases tend to be pretty well-defined. “,First base and home base are pretty clear,”, says Connell Barrett, a dating coach for The League. “,Second and third bases are harder to define.”, Let’,s break them all down, shall we? First Base. In baseball, getting to first base is a big deal —, it’,s far from guaranteed, and it can be the start of an eventual scoring play. However, first base alone is relatively meaningless if you don’,t end up advancing along the base path. When translated into sexual intimacy terms, first base is simply just kissing, something many guys consider to be an unimpressive, nearly disappointing form of intimacy compared to sexual intercourse. “,Getting to first means you’,re kissing, from a peck on the lips to French kissing,”, notes Barrett. Second Base. Getting to second base, whether by hitting a double or by advancing from first, is decidedly a big deal in baseball. Since there are only four bases, you’,re already halfway home, and the possibility of getting to home from second (on a teammate’,s hit) is much higher than it is from first. Consequently, for many people, second base is a big step up from kissing into steamy, sensual territory with a lot more touching. For some, that means above the waist. As SKYN Condoms’, sex and intimacy expert Gigi Engle points out, the notion that second base is “,fondling breasts”, was likely decided by straight men, since their counterparts don’,t exactly have much to work with above the waist. For others, it could mean anywhere on the body, so long as it’,s outside the clothes —, “,groping each other, touching chests and butts,”, as Barrett puts it. Third Base. In baseball, getting to third base is a relative rarity. That’,s in part because triples are less common than full-on home runs, and in part because, well, they’,re also less common than the comparatively easier singles and doubles. As in the sporting sense, in sexual terms, the understanding tends to be that getting to third is actually pretty close to reaching home. As a result, third base leaves behind chaste kissing and the relatively tame over-the-clothes groping of second base to feature direct touching of the genitals. For some people, that’,s primarily manual stimulation —, “,fingering or stroking,”, according to Barrett —, while for others, such as Engle, it can include oral sex, too. Home Base. Unsurprisingly, since getting to home base is the object of the game in baseball, home base in a sexual sense is the sex act that, culturally speaking, we tend to consider the ultimate form of sexual intimacy: engaging in penetrative intercourse. “,Getting to home base is full sex —, intercourse. You scored!”, says Barrett. In this conception, once people have “,rounded the bases”, —, kissing, groping, genital touching and penetration —, the sense seems to be that they’,ve done it all, and have successfully reached the highest level of sex. Different Interpretations. Of course, as we just saw in the meanings of second and third base, not everyone agrees on what the bases are. For some, a kiss without tongue might not even count as first base, while for others, oral sex might be included as part of home base rather than third. As well, the question of where to place certain acts that don’,t fall under these narrow definitions —, say, naked dry-humping, something with elements of second, third and home —, remains up to the individual. “,There’,s plenty of room for interpretation, especially with oral sex, which can fall anywhere from second base to home,”, explains Barrett, noting that some see oral sex as relatively meaningless, while others see it as “,more intimate than full intercourse.”, Why We See Sex in Terms of Bases. Even if you’,re a lifelong baseball fan, you might be wondering the point in using bases when it comes to sex. According to Barrett, “,Meat Loaf’,s 1977 hit song ‘,Paradise by the Dashboard Light’, helped cement the baseball-as-sex metaphor.”, “,The narrator is trying to ‘,go all the way’, in a car with his girlfriend while baseball announcer and ex-New York Yankee Phil Rizzuto calls the play-by-play,”, he says. Other sources suggest the comparison goes back as far as the end of the Second World War, though given the way slang and regional dialects function, oral usage of the concept could predate the earliest recorded use by several years. Still, the question remains: What is it about baseball and sex, two seemingly unrelated activities, that has stuck so well in the cultural mindset as to last through all these decades? “,Comparing stages of romantic escalation to running the bases makes for a simple, clear metaphor,”, explains Barrett. “,Everybody gets it —, baseball is the national pastime.”, And the comparison doesn’,t end at the base path, either. “,In dating, we still say someone ‘,struck out,’, meaning got rejected, or is a ‘,switch-hitter,’, referring to bisexuality,”, he adds. Additionally, the terms “,pitcher”, and “,catcher”, are sometimes used to denote the penetrating and penetrated partner in anal sex between gay men, with the phrase “,playing the field”, referring to someone who’,s casually dating several people at once over a short period of time. It’,s still worth asking why metaphors are required at all. To that point, there’,s an even more compelling reason, but one that’,s beginning to have less and less cultural currency.
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